Valentine’s Day Caregiver Self-Love
Our relationship with Valentine’s Day can be complex. As caregivers, we may not have the capacity to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a traditional way. Feelings of resentment can surface when surrounded by hearts, sweets, and flowers that remind us that we feel isolated and disconnected from society and celebrations. Love in all forms feels elusive. Romance is last on our list when our thoughts are consumed with worry. Feelings of love for our care recipient can be buried under the weight and layers of this worry and responsibility.
At one point in caring for Mom, I became painfully aware of every minute, every hour, day, week, and month that went by and that all I seemed to do was take care of her. If I wasn’t directly caring for her, I was thinking about caring for her. All my attention and energy were on giving to Mom. I felt like I had lost my sense of self. I felt as if my world was closing in on me. It was a challenge to shift to prioritizing my well-being. I almost hit rock bottom when I finally figured out what self-care looked like for me and how to fit it into my busy schedule.
As I reflect on the many Valentine’s Days we traveled through during the caregiving journey, I can say that some were challenging, yet I often found joy and celebrated the love we shared. I look back on these cherished memories with gratitude. I want the same for you and suggest we reclaim Valentine’s Day and redefine how we celebrate.
Here are some ideas:
Self-Kindness
Self-care becomes an expression of self-love when we are struggling under the stress of care responsibilities. We can take time to show ourselves love and compassion through random acts of self-kindness. Make a to-do list of how you can show yourself love this Valentine’s Day. Self-kindness can be buying ourselves a Valentine’s Day treat or flowers. Reimagine traditions and replace roses with your favorite flower and chocolates with your unique indulgence.
Connection
Meeting a friend for a walk, coffee, or even a chat on the phone as an expression of love and connecting with others is social self-care. If you are feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day, you are not alone. Who can you call? Is there a fellow family caregiver who can relate to the feelings of isolation and could use an empathetic ear?
Alone time
Do you crave time alone? Who could offer respite so you could go to a movie, enjoy a cup of tea with a journal or book, or indulge in your hobby? You might create a calming space in your home where you can escape the stress and enter your happy place with music, scents, and colors that relax or rejuvenate your spirit.
Appreciation
Expressing appreciation for others results in good feelings all around. Remember how we gave Valentines to our classmates in grade school? A craft project may be just the activity to reinspire our love for this lover’s holiday. Imagine how touched and delighted the folks helping you care for your family member would be if they received a Valentine from you and their care recipient. Whose heart can you touch with a heart-shaped card or treat?
Furry friend time
Our loved one will likely feel the losses more intensely during this holiday, and we can help them see and feel the love surrounding them. Our furry friends can inspire countless hours of joy and help us feel connected. If you don’t have a pet, could you borrow one for the day? Encourage a friend to visit and have them bring along their four-legged companion to brighten up everyone’s day.
Wellness visits
An act of self-love that is less sexy and, dare I say, more meaningful is scheduling the wellness visit, the mammogram, or the dentist appointment that has been postponed due to competing priorities. It is challenging yet essential to prioritize our well-being while we care for our family member. What a great Valentine’s Day gift to yourself!
Get Started
This Valentine’s Day, celebrate yourself, express self-love and take steps to prioritize your well being! What will you add to this list? How will you celebrate yourself, and how can you continue this celebration throughout the entire year?
For more on how to prioritize your well-being while you care for your family member, get the Reset Priorities Action Plan at HeartofCaregiving.com.
For more solutions for the common mistakes caregivers make, check out 21 Mistakes Caregivers Make & How to Avoid Them: Solutions and Strategies to Reduce Stress and Increase Happiness available on Amazon!
Advice offered is for general information only; please contact your healthcare team, legal or financial advisors to guide your particular situation.