Tag Archive | assist the elderly

The Joys of Aging

 

By Cindy K. Sproles

It’s normal to hear negative phrases about aging. Aching bones, slipping memory, stubbornness. After all, it is aging. Our bodies begin to tell us it’s time to ease out of the busyness of life and relax. Slow down.

Of course, aging is difficult. Who wants to admit they are entering their golden years? And it never seems to slowly approach. It happens overnight. One minute we’re racing about with our grandchildren, the next the race seems to have dissipated. Aging, despite the fact we know it will happen, is a shock.

When you are the child of an aging parent, reality may seep in when you suddenly notice the difficulty of your parent standing from a sitting position or when you finally take notice of the wrinkled skin on their hands. We’ve been so accustomed to having active parents, especially with our children, that seeing that large energy shrink, is hard. The transition from an active parent to one who requires a bit of assistance takes some adjustment.

Aging is simply part of the circle of life and it’s not to be taken lightly. Many senior parents now require additional help. Maybe it’s assistance with household chores or more so, assistance with the daily activities we take for granted. Things like dressing, brushing our hair or teeth, putting on our shoes. Either way, our mindset must change. The changes can be an inconvenience, but it’s important not to let the negative take away the joy of our parents.

It’s no secret that some

 

issues with aging cause our loved ones distress. Things like Alzheimer’s or different dementias. There are times, these hiccups take the person we love and twist them into someone we’ve never met. This is the time when joy is important.

Learning to find the good in every situation is not only scriptural, but it’s the perfect way to handle our lives. How do we find joy in something like Alzheimer’s? Grant you, it’s difficult, but again, it has to be a mindset.

Take time to recount the moments that brought laughter and fun into your family with your aging parent. Spend time chatting about those things. Even more so, include your loved one in on those conversations. Sometimes, a memory is sparked, a moment of peace may seep over your parent. When parent’s thoughts stream to a spouse or parent who passed years prior, that is fine. Use those memories to start conversation with your loved one. Ask questions about that person or the time frame your parent may be recounting. Don’t spend valuable time trying to convince your aging parent that the person they are speaking about, passed away years earlier. Their mind is in what is present to them at the time. Instead, roll with the flow. You may be surprised at what you learn about the past of your parent.

The point is, there are fun things. . .things that brought you and your parent laughter and pleasure in the past. Search for the joy in those things and bring them to light. Doing this not only revives little memories for your parent but it sparks a whole new set of conversations with your siblings and children. For example, my grandmother passed away over 25 years ago. To this day, when any of the family gathers, the same old stories are spit out over and over. Laughter rings through the house and the hard parts of grandmother’s illness are swallowed up by the joys of her life. There is never sadness, instead, our homes and lives are enriched continually those wonderful memories.

When aging grows difficult for your family, stop. Rethink. Seek. Find the joy that brought laughter and happiness from years prior. Those memories will once again bring a new joy to the hardships of aging.

 

 

Photos courtesy of microsoft free photo gallery

Love Them Gently Into the Golden Years

Photo courtesy of www.openculture.com

Photo courtesy of http://www.openculture.com

Written and released originally by recording artist, Otis Redding, Respect became the signature and hit for R&B singer, Aretha Franklin and the anthem for many who appreciated what respect meant to them.

The very nature of humans teeter on respect. Our self-esteem, our confidence, even decision making, pends on how we feel about ourselves. When we feel pushed down or brushed off, the very thing that builds us, tears us down.

Our country is seeing the last of those veterans who served in World War II, laid to rest. Those who were an active part of this nations greatest technological, industrial, and medical technologies era are slowly fading. The age of work ethic, strong sense of family, and personal responsibility fades with them. As the new fast-paced world of instant messages and cell phones over take our seniors, it leaves behind the one thing valued most by them – their respect.

At a slower time in this country’s history, a man was known by his integrity and his word. If he committed to a task, he completed it regardless of issues. It was, by all due rights, what earned him the title of respected.

Our seniors are caught in a time warp. Nestled between the old and the new. In their lifetime, they’ve seen the invention of every major life’s convenience known to man. Yet, in the midst of the of all this development, our seniors – the creators of these modern conveniences, are forgotten. Treated as second class. Disrespected. And it has only served to break them.

In this world of instant gratification, the youth of our country grow impatient when grandma can’t operate a smart phone or granddaddy gives up on the newest remote control. Instead of showing grace or offering assistance, they quickly snap at them, leading seniors to feel less than adequate and incapable.Senior woman contemplating

It’s important to remember how the aging process works and then practice the necessary methods needed to uplift their aging loved ones rather than tear them down.

According to a recent article posted on WedMD.com,  Dr. Kenneth Minaker, MD, chief of geriatric medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and associate professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School stated, “Aging is a life-saving process,” he says. “It is a process of lifelong adaptation to prevent us from developing cancers that would kill us.” Though we look at aging as a deterioration of our bodies, in essence, it’s an adaptation of our bodies to help us adjust as we slowly complete the life process.

Outside of the obvious decline in eyesight and hearing, reflexes, movement, and mental aspects begin to slow. The mind processes slightly slower. The ability of being agile lessens, joints and muscles tighten and stiffen. Our ability to problem solve lessens somewhat. The result of these things reveals itself through frustration and agitation.

Learning to be an encouragement to our aging parents is important. Make a concerted effort to offer them the respect they have earned in a lifetime of hard work, and family rearing. It’s enough to come to the realization that our bodies do not function the way they once did, but when seniors are constantly treated as second class or as a problem to the family, the respect is gone. And when the respect leaves, aging parents falter.

Practice these tips to learn a deeper respect for your aging parents:

Reflect over your own life – Regardless of our age, we have a past. Grant you, the past of a twenty-year-old is nothing compared to that of a eighty-year-old, but the fact remains, taking a small amount of time daily to reflect over your own life’s choices, successes and even failures, softens your attitude toward others. Self-reflection allows us to look into ourselves and take notes, which in turn, help us self-correct.

Joe, a thirty-year-old computer analyst, entered his workplace frustrated a co-worker had parked in his space. Even though it was an open parking lot, spaces were not labeled, Joe parked in the same spot everyday. Three rows back, second from the end, just enough space to get in easily and exit quickly. Today, a co-worker took his parking space. Madaline, an older receptionist, greeted Joe daily as he entered the building. Her smile and sweet nature was a joy.  Joe bolted through the front door angry. Breezing past Madaline, he remarked wasn’t it time she retired because she just didn’t “get” the needs of the employees any longer.

Self-reflection gave Joe the perspective he needed to understand his actions toward Madaline were  unwarranted and hurtful. Not only had he insulted Madaline out of anger, but as his elder and having forty plus years in the company, he disrespected her.

Elderly Man Touching ChinSpend time with the elderly – Take note of the company you keep. Do you spend time with seniors outside of your grandparents? If not, ask yourself why. Many times, aging seniors frighten us. Not because of who they are, but because of what they represent to us. In them, we see our own immortality. Our future; and that can be scary. However, making the effort to spend quality time with seniors allows us the opportunity to learn about our past and to understand the aging process is natural and nothing to be feared. Sensitivity develops and a deeper compassion for those who “can’t move”  as fast as they once did.

Notice the seniors around you – Pay attention to the seniors who surround you. Take note of their value and contributions both past and present. Build them up. Thank them for their wisdom and service. After all, without them, we would not be.

Be considerate of seniors’ well being – Learn patience. Take extra steps to assist a senior in the store, or on the street. Be kind and understand their hearing is not what it used to be. More so, treat them with respect. They’ve earned it. Treating a senior with respect lifts their spirits, encourages their health, and strengthens their desire to maintain.

Finally, be respectful – Remember, our seniors are from a different age in time when things were different. Manners were important. Practice good, old fashioned manners. Call them Mr. or Mrs. unless they request otherwise. Stand when they enter a room. Say thank you and please. Today’s world preaches for us to meet the youth of America, “where they are.” When in retrospect, the same should apply to our seniors. Meet them where they are. Help them where it is needed and be respectful of their past position and current status.

Respect comes in scores of ways. Our seniors deserve our patience and respect. Practice these skills and see how your own life improves.