By Cindy Sproles
Parents are the foundational support of the family. They are the symbol of strength when we are children, caring and providing for us. Their goal – to assure their children grow to be happy and productive adults.
As we grow and take on families of our own, our parents welcome grandchildren into their arms likewise providing that special love and care a grandparent can only give. But what happens when the reality of an aging parent hits home?
No longer are we comfortable with leaving the grandchildren in their care. No longer are we sure they can care completely for themselves. A time comes when the roles must reverse. Our parents need assistance and it’s hard to accept.
Every situation lends itself to the specific needs of each individual parent. Therefore having a conversation about the future needs of their care is vital while parents are in good health and not in the throes of sudden illness.
It is important to know there are levels of care spanning from simple assistance to fully dependent care in a facility. Rushing to either degree is not something one takes lightly, rather it is one family members assess with great care.
*In-home non-medical caregivers – The first stage of higher care is the introduction of a caregiver who can come into the home for a few hours a week to help with the mundane skills life requires. Non-medical caregivers can prepare meals, assist with light housekeeping, and help with personal care and hygiene. Most aging parents can maintain their home for a number of years with just a few hours weekly from an outside caregiver. It is important to take into consideration the pros and cons of hiring a private caregiver, keeping in mind the need for backgrounds checks, and access to personal finances and properties must remain strictly limited and monitored. When hiring through a caregiver company, children can trust background checks are performed and workmen’s compensation insurance and liability insurance is in place to cover the caregivers. Please note, when hiring a private caregiver, families are responsible to pay taxes, provide a 1099, and assure there is workmen’s compensations available to protect both your parent and the caregiver. Check with your parent’s homeowner’s insurance to see what is covered and what is not via their homeowner’s policy. Families are stunned that coverage does not extend to cover private contracted laborers. Though private caregivers can be safe and dependable, families are best served to cover the bases of safety and security by considering a company’s assistance. Companies must meet strict standards of care and are monitored by their perspective states.
*Assisted living – When in-home care is not enough the next step of care is assisted living. Parents live in an assisted living community. Their independence is 100%, being allowed to come and go as they please, even drive if they are physically and mentally able. Assisted living offers full internal assistance if needs require. Facilities or communities provide meals, transportation if needed, and a physician, nurse practitioner, or RN on staff 24/7. The primary requirement for living in assisted living is to be independent enough to get themselves out of the building in the event of a fire or facility emergency. Otherwise, assisted living can help parents up until memory care or full care becomes necessary. Assisted living is far more affordable than families imagine. It’s important to know that when families close the parent’s home and turn off utilities, cancel insurances, and either rent or sell a home, those same funds can now be diverted to the cost of assisted living. On a personal note, our family rents our parents home through a realtor and all those funds go to defer the costs of assisted living. Between those funds and parental social security, the costs are met easily and there is no drain on our family. Of course, every situation is different, but it is wise for families to delve deeper into this option and have an open mind.
*Nursing home and end-of-life care – The circle of life continues despite our best efforts. Seek the assistance of an attorney early on to protect parent’s assets in a revocable trust, then when the time arises for full-time nursing, families are somewhat prepared. Do your homework. Seek out the facility that can best care for your parent and then take it upon yourself to be proactive. Visit frequently and at unexpected times so the facility staff sees you are actively involved in your parent’s care.
Write down the wishes of your aging parents and when the time comes for additional assistance, there will be no questions. Make the transition to assisted care easier by early preparation.
Photo Courtesy of http://www.pixabay.com and PICNIC_Fotografie